"i think im becoming immune to four loko"
"sometimes i shit on my boss's car, he never suspects it me"
"if you burry a mcdonalds bag a flower will grow, do to the grease and sesame seeds"
"i think for my vacation this year im either going noodling or to london"
"are you american? no im from arkansas"
"george harrison is the guy from indiana jones right?"
"i'd rather have sex with a horse than be pregnant"
"i consider myself a true racist when sober"
"my life is like a flanel, mismatched and warm"
"if your dick was like a bee's stinger and you died after using it, who'd you use it on?"
"ever notice how a t-shirt looks like a t?"
"a biopsy is like an autopsy but when youre alive"
"i wish i was from africa so i wouldnt have to shower"
"do you think people in hungary eat constantly?"
Thursday, March 11, 2010
when referring to masturbation- "it was a continuous run, like 10 or 15 minutes ya know"
randomly-"do you know how many times a day i think of killing a cop?"
when referring to the lottery-"you know the first thing we're doing is lighting a fire in the living room. and i'm not waking the neighbors at all. i'm not going to jail for attempted murder, i'm going for done that shit murder"
referring to Joe's quote-"i wonder if Indian bitches' pussy smells like curry?"-Joe "some curry doesn't smell good holmes"