credit due

i met this guy when i was about 16 or 17. i ended up driving him at warp speeds to the hospital after his knee fell off. out of appreciation, he bought me a "get up kids" cd. i loved it. he's been my best friend ever since. thanks and happy birthday pat.

vladimir guerrero

cheers to this guy and his parents

quotes i've been sitting on

"its butt fuckin' time" -marcus
"sometimes i wish i wasn't a wanker" -natalie
"banana nut muffin anyone?" -jessie
"how's that for a tight little tush" -eric
"only one came outta that braw, but that was perfect boys" -old man next to me at a bar
"underneath that shirt lies two beautiful babes" -andy
"yes virginia, there is a santa clause" -announcer at a bar
"cowboy bills is a church of perpetual hard ons" -bartender named "ZP" at a bar
"so you girls like pina colodas? -bart
"you wana go search for some stray cats sometime?" -amy

6 month pause

so for the two and half people that have tried to follow this page, im sorry. i don't have a computer and am always unmotivated to go to one of those "internet cafes". we all know what happens at those places. so im house sitting for some friends who have a computer. the dog will eat this fine piece of technology by the end of these five days. the old "the dog ate it" trick. hope you enjoy the next 120 hours.

the elderly

so im pretty convinced that the majority of all older humans suck these days. i deal with these impatient bastards all day. they complain about paying a dollar fifty for a bottle of water, yet they spend four twenty five on a damn key west key chain in the shape of a sandal. when asked "where are you from", the 20 percent that don't say ontario usually will claim flowada (florida). NOPE! wrong answer you sniveling idiot. just because you moved to appolo beach, fl when you hit the big 65 in your lincoln continental from michigan doesnt make you a floridian damnt. why cant you go back to great falls, mi and take up senior golf lessons there? why is florida the only place with 55+ communitys? ya know. i mean, have you ever driven by one of those places and told yourself " shit man, when i retire im definitely moving into sunshine village"? come on. and at the age of 60 plus do you get a certificate that says im allowed to golf now? what the fuck? im so confused by this. these people never golfed before in they're lives. but i guess once you cross the state border into florida you can go to one of those "welcome centers"/rest areas and pick that certificate up. im not quite sure. we should ship them all to desert land, az somewhere, where they can golf, eat as much tapioka pudding, and watch perry mason as much as they want. seriously. one giant "adult community". therefore, when they hit 55 or 6o no one has to say "well what now"? its an automatic, "you're going to arizona dude".

oh 25...

clinton's best nixon pose

twister's a hard concept

i love israel too bud

buffalo stance and hot sauce

graduation

sex appeal

so i guess the story is that ol' Nick here, after being publicly pernounced the "sexiest man alive",decided he'd rather take on a disguise as the plastered tourist version of the joker